Sunday, March 23, 2008

Performance Anxiety

Okay, so I just read Robyn's blog and her glowing endorsement of the potential for my blog to keep you entertained. Talk about performance anxiety. This is almost as bad as standing at the communal urinal at the ball game with a dozen other men just waiting to see if your bladder will agree to release its contents. We've all been there at least once, haven't we. (Please say, "YES" - men only.) You're dancing all the way to the bathroom, finally get a spot to wedge in at the front of the queue, and the spigot won't turn on. Can't even look down to make sure everything's alright because the Unwritten Code of the Urinal dictates that you stare straight ahead and take an unusual interest in the square of wall directly in front of you. I understand that two guys made eye contact once durning half-time at a soccer match in England. It took three days, four police forces and seven fire brigades to clean up the rioting. I don't want to even consider what would happen if streams crossed.

I was about to say that you women have it easy 'cause you all get stalls and some degree of privacy unless someone needs you to spare a square, but I know better than to do that. I'd have dozens (okay, maybe three) of you reminding me of long lines and unsanitary toilet seats and no squares to spare. Now that's pressure.

7 comments:

buttercup said...

sorry about the pressure. I just felt it would be good for you to have more readers, since you want the comments and all. I can retract my statement if you want and tell everyone not to bother. So far, I've been entertained and informed. :)

Heather said...

I for one, am expecting big things. Yeah, the whole urinal thing is a bit creepy. I wouldn't trade.

Leslie Moseley said...

Which body parts are more handy kind of depend on where you are. In a camping situation, male body parts seem to be real handy. While women may have a wee bit more privacy, it generally doesn't make any difference if you have a shy bladder. Glad you joined the blogging brigade.

Marc Gingell said...

I thought of your post today at the Dinosaur Park as I refused to wait in line for the girl's bathroom. The men's had no line and the diaper changing station I needed was in there too!

Migaloo said...

Great. Now I have to live up to Heather's expectations, too.

Roxi said...

And this is why I go to a school where I am one of three females with access, three stalls, three girls. I love living in a world where there are no lines for the womens bathroom during the day at least :)

Shelane said...

well written. peed my pants, no urinal here. thanks for the entertainment. (robyn's neighbor)